People should be extremely careful when choosing names for their children.
Tiggz and Penfold went to a school where the head teacher was called Mr Head. He named his son Richard.

I have recently heard of a couple who had a set of triplets. They were named Al, Kai and Eda.

They were little tearaways.

On a recent flight over to the States they were running amok on the aircraft, terrorising the other passengers.

The mother yelled at the top of her voice “Al ……... Kai …….. Eda!!!”.



At this point, three men and a woman fell out of the overhead lockers clutching machine guns and yelling ‘Keep calm everyone, there’s no need to panic’. Strangely they must all have been hard of hearing as well as tiny, as each and every one of them had a hearing aid.
To give them credit, they assessed the situation immediately and having issued the parents with forms to change the children’s names by deed poll, they hoisted themselves back into the lockers and the flight continued as normal.

Naming my two Tiggz and Penfold doesn’t seem quite so silly now.

I endeavour, avid readers, to restore you using merriment. As Gomesius says, merriment can cure many passions of the mind.
With correct phrasing, witticisms may be found in the most profound of subjects.



I am a serious minded person, mulling the intricacies of human relationships and the wonders that surround me every day.
And yet, for the good of persons unknown, I have donned cardboard boxes and revealed sides of my life best hidden. This has been for you.



I have even considered unlacing my pantaloons to provide amusement (Stop considering that immediately; it’s a completely false premise. Lo,TG Ed), stretching parts of my body to places they should not be stretched and braiding other parts into diverting shapes.
I am afeared though, that members of the gentler sex might swoon in front of their monitors at these sights. I am very well aware of the sensibilities that I might, unwittingly awaken in my quest to try and provide merriment using my gifted body parts. The female mind, at the best of times, is unbalanced (It’s only superb strength of character that allows us to go on functioning in the face of such adversity. Lo,TG Ed) and has a tendency to teeter - I would hate to be the one to cause a complete collapse.
With this, the terrible Goddess is in agreement. Of course, this has caused me to wobble and feel the adverse effects of gravity. (You can say that again. Lo,TG Ed)

But I am a man and will recover.

This is a beach.
It is the sort of beach that surfers use.
Oh well, you can’t have everything.

I am writing this now but it will be published later. Everything I’m saying in this is probably irrelevant by the time you read it – I’m sensing a theme here. (At last! Light dawns. Lo,TG Ed)



What has happened to the weather in the Algarve?
It’s raining and it’s windy. It is quite warm though.
The sun has been shining. It has been better than an English summer since we arrived.
Is there somewhere I can get my money back? Who do I apply to? How much is my disappointment worth? Is it possible to placate Lo, she is a terrible Goddess? [that one I can answer ………… but I’m not going to].

Actually, with reference to the first paragraph, I was right. This is the first time ever, and I’m now bathing in a pool of unknown light.

“The sun has got his hat on!” – tra-la.

In normal circumstances I write these posts directly on the Blogware site. Due to the rather peculiar situation I find myself in at the moment, with very limited access to the virtual world, I have had to change the way I do things.



I now write these fascinating and incisive blogs on a ‘Word’ document and then file them away. When I go down to Pica Pica to use Antonio’s wi-fi, I search around for the posts I want to upload, [two or three at a time, post dated in case I can’t get down there for some reason], do a quick Google, if I’m not using my own pictures, to find a suitable image and then cobble everything together as quickly as I can.

The best bit is when ‘Word’ asks “new blank document?” I like blank pages - they are so full of promise. I usually have a starting point and then have no idea where it will lead. Like this one – where I’ve managed to lose the point completely – brilliant!

Now, where was I?

Oh yes, I recall. My options are limited once again so posting will be intermittent and commenting on comments unlikely. The very few readers that are still keeping me company have my undying gratitude and complete reeeeeee-spect.

What is about the British and their dogs?



We were on a surfing beach the other day and there was a middle-aged couple in their wetsuits doing a bit of body boarding. Their little pooch was at the water’s edge obviously feeling a bit confused.
After a while it decided to take off and proceeded to disappear in the direction of the car park and the road.

“Mummy’ spotted that lickle ‘Poochikins’ was missing and waded to the shore, looking this way and that for her absent child. I shouted at her and pointed in the direction that the mutt had gone. Off she ran and as she did, the doggy decided to come back.

When they were reunited ‘Mummy’ came over to say thank you.

“’Poochikins’ is always doing that! He’ll get run over one day!”

“Why don’t you drive a stake in the ground and tie him up when you go in the water?”

“Oh – I couldn’t do that. You understand, don’t you`’.

“Yes” I said, meaning “You’re an idiot – the dog would be much safer and feel more secure if you did”.

“I knew you would – you can’t tie the little darlings up can you?”

She went back to her surfing, the dog got disoriented and once again ran off looking for ‘Mummy’ and ‘Daddy’.

Stupid people.

As a post script, the TG and I were having a beverage at a café next to the road and car park when the couple gave up floundering for the afternoon and returned to their car.

“Come here ‘Poochikins’ – you know you’ve got the car keys fixed to your collar”.

On a Rottweiler or an Alsation maybe, if well trained, but on a tiny, waggy tailed, lick-your-face, greet everyone as an old friend with a tendency to run off all over the place?

Doubly stupid people.