Avid readers, the importance of being a QUICK LEARNER.
As I was folding the terrible Goddess’s knickers the other day [carefully done, straight from the washing machine before hanging out to dry, as described previously] wondering why some labels are at the back and some are to the side, when I suddenly realised something…….. There is a correlation between the colour of the TG’s pants and her mood! We’ve been together over 40 years and only now has this occurred to me.
She has a choice each morning – either black or white.
White knickers are worn when she is feeling benign, or anywhere between befive and beten, and black pants when the mood is between befour and begone. Why had I never noticed this before?
If the terrible Goddess is benign or above, the ground that she walks on, which I obviously worship, I can walk on too. I am referring specifically to the living room carpet over which I am usually encouraged to hover. Under befive to begone, the shed calls.
Up ‘til now I have waited to see how the land lies and if shin pads are the order of the day but I now have a cunning plan.
When the TG is having her shower I’ll go into the garden, a long pole in hand with a mirror attached. I can then get a preview of the knickers of the day through the bathroom window and be forewarned. Any queries from the neighbours and I’ll tell them I’m looking for wasp’s nests.
I don’t know if all Goddesses behave in the same way but this could be useful advice to all the Peabrains in the world. [I change from being a peabrain, said lovingly, to an ugly, fat, pompous, arrogant pig depending, I now know, on the colour of the knickers].
Ah, I can hear the shower……………bye.
(Actually, the colour of the knickers depends on whether Dpapersurfer is behaving like a fat, ugly, arrogant, pompous, useless pig or just a peabrain, rather than the other way round. Lo, TG. Ed. )
To be revealed soon “Roots “– the history of an enslaved turnip. A harrowing tale of a turnip forced to share a bed with a carrot.
