Lo, the terrible Goddess has two sisters. They call themselves 'The Triumvirate'. In Russia they are known as 'The Troika'. I know them as 'The Coven'. I fear that Tritheism might have some truth in it so generally hum a Trisagion when they are together.



I have spent a substantial amount of time and effort over the years to make sure that they don't congregate alone, particularly in the kitchen. Whenever I have lost concentration there has been trouble. Yesterday I failed miserably - I fear my life will become more dangerous than the life of the trochilus.

I got diverted by some sock trauma which took some time to resolve. When I had finished I found them huddled together over the stove peering into a large bubbling saucepan.

I think I overheard:-

"All we need now is some nasal hair, that stuff we can only get using a trocar and some testicles, which we'll have to triturate - oh, and some double cream."

I immediately decided to make a bolt for the door and grabbing the dictionary on the way out, shouted over my shoulder "I'm going to the shed to make a bolt for the door."
I locked myself in, ate some garlic I keep in there for such emergencies and turned to page 1148 of the Concise Oxford Dictionary [1990 edition] to find out what was going on.

Actually, to be quite honest, at this point I drifted off - too much excitement - and when I woke the sisters had departed. I went back into the house to be greeted by a steaming bowl of soup and the terrible Goddess, all benign.

"Oh, there you are. Have some soup!"

I am now anticipating unexpected growths and wondering why haven't I seen the milkman recently.

(I gave up anticipating unexpected growths long ago. And isn't that an oxymoron? Although it is of course possible to leave out the oxy. Lo, TG Ed.)