There was an article some time ago about how much it costs to bring up a child to the age of 21, so I decided to find the rigorous financial records I kept concerning Tiggz and Penfold. After much drawer opening and rummaging I found the envelope.

According to the report the average UK household will spend £180,137 broken down thus:-

£17,002 on a child's food
£12,352 on clothing
£11,086 on holidays
£9,592 on hobbies and toys
£5,518 on pocket money
The rest is spent on childcare and education. [This does include the university years. As my boys were far too clever to waste their time going onto further education they saved themselves a lot of money, time and effort - I would not have supported them]

My records only go up to age 16 years and 1 day as they were thrown out asked to leave as soon as it was legal.




Unwrapped Christmas presents

The actual figures for my little bundles of fun were:-

£1,664 on food. It averaged out at £1 a week including Christmas dinners when I suspended a kipper over the table and we all took turns in rubbing a slice of bread on it.
£0 on clothing. They always wore hand-me-downs. It was slightly unfortunate that most cousins were Goddesses but there you go.
£68 on holidays. This was an area where I didn't scrimp. Several times over the years we hopped on a bus and went over to Greenwich Park.
£28 on hobbies and toys. I made the mistake of spending £28 one Christmas on a lovely train set. Within 30 minutes it was reduced to it's component parts so I reverted to cardboard boxes as gifts.
Minus £1783 on pocket money. I instigated a reverse system for this whereby, if I found work for them, I took a cut [usually about 75%].
Childcare and education. Childcare wasn't an issue because I didn't. State education and a disapproval of school visits kept the cost down although I did buy quite a few raffle tickets to support the PTA - £22 to be exact.

Now , if I've calculated correctly I'm up by a £1.

With the imminent departure of Tony Blur and the elevation of Boredom Brown, I believe there will be a vacancy at No11 which I think could be a job opportunity.

( I was out of the country during this period, taking 'Terrible Goddess - Parts II & III' Hons. Dip Ed. Coven Management. Certified. I think the results of Peabrain's methods speak for themselves. Lo, TG Ed.)

My work has been recognised by the World Blog Council - not as work but as a warning. They are a force to be reckoned with. In honour of this could you please blow up my bum bomb - thank you.