Physically Frog dog has recovered from his ordeals but I feel the mental trauma might take longer to resolve - I'll keep you informed.

Avid readers, I bet you're wondering how I have managed to remain so chipper and grounded.
The terrible Goddess has helped by chipping my shins on many an occasion and grounding me several years ago; I am now allowed out unsupervised but only occasionally. This came about after I had had a very distressing morning involving laptop dancing, a squirrel, and a double decker bus.




I awoke early, feeling it was time for a career change. I decided that perhaps I had a talent for tap dancing. This turned out to be unfounded; I discovered that I have no sense of balance and consequently kept falling off the tap.

I reckoned that laptop prancing would be easier but as I stepped lightly onto MiniMac [I'm still waiting for my Mac Probook by the by] the power went down. I spent the rest of the morning searching the house to find out why the earth leakage system kept cutting in; eventually I found the problem under the shed where a squirrel had eaten through a cable. I am very pleased sad to tell you that the pesky poor creature was completely fried.

I decided I would go to B&Q for a bite to eat, a cup of tea and some replacement cable. I waited at the bus stop [the TG was out in the car; yet another hair appointment], kicking my heels and pondering the meaning of life. The bus arrived. Ahead of me was a young woman in a very short mini-skirt. The bus was full downstairs so I followed the young Goddess up to the top deck, keeping my eyes averted and mulling over the events of the morning. .Unbeknownst to me there was a hold up at the top of the stairs. I carried on going and my head disappeared up the Goddess's skirt - I looked like a standard lamp...

It was after the court case that the TG grounded me and, quite honestly, it's probably just as well.

Look forward to 'How to organise a piss up at a brewery' by my ghost writer.