If pigs could fly, which incidentally isn't impossible nowadays, what with genetic modification and all that - I suppose it would be a good idea to choose a fairly small breed of pig crossed with an eagle. Would it be known as a peagle or, perhaps a piggle? I think the latter as the former sounds a bit like a breed of incontinent dog.


Oooo, I've just remembered one on the most cheery texts that I ever received. When we first bought a house in central Portugal I was dispatched by the terrible Goddess to deliver all the furniture, cutlery, plates, bedding, cushions etc. that we would need.
I borrowed a clapped out old van from Penfold and , fully laden, braved the infamous Pride of Bilbao. I don't mind admitting I was quite nervous. I had never used this route before, the van REALLY was clapped out and separation from the TG and her ineffable presence was extremely unsettling.

The ferry docks at an unholy hour on the outskirts of Bilbao; just in time for rush hour and in Spain they drive on the right side of the road, which is, of course, the wrong side of the road. [I have now driven in Spain and Portugal so often that I find it very strange driving in England , which is even stranger.]
As we docked I turned on the mobile phone, and after the usual messages of 'welcome to Spain - you can dial 364738290938746554378 and we can tell you where to stay for which we get a huge commission and by the way the call to 364738290938746554378 will cost you a fortune and if you mis-dial, even more', there popped up a message from Tiggz:-

'Are you incontinent yet?'

I laughed so much I thought my knickers would never dry.

Now where was I? Oh yes, if pigs could fly I wouldn't spend the greater portion of my day getting diverted by seemingly random thoughts. You see, they may appear random but if you analyse the whole process there is............................... um, oh whatever.