The new and last Harry Potter book came out last Saturday. To ensure my copy I ordered it on Amazon last century.
It is now Tuesday.
It has not arrived yet.
Amazon have the new address.
They say it was dispatched on the 14th to be delivered by the Royal Male [ever so glad Prince Charles is using his time wisely] on the 21st.
The terrible Goddess has a copy, presented by an acolyte.
The TG is reclining on the sofa turning pages at a rate of knots and going "Umm' and " Ahh" and "OH no".
I've just seen the wife of the President of the Resident's Association clutching a copy and smirking. [Her behaviour is getting really bizarre by the way. She spotted me, raised her brolly and waggled it at me and said "Leavemealoneius" and then did her usual scuttle].
I am depressed.
I am twitchy.
I am starting a heart attack.
I am FURIOUS.
WHERE IS MY BOOK?
WHY AM I THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO DOESN'T KNOW?
WHY? WHY? WHY???
(Crumbs! Bother! Oooh! Oh dear, noooooooo! Not HER!!! Lo,TG Ed)
