Last night the terrible Goddess went off to bed early, saying either "I've got a headache" or "You're giving me a headache" - I didn't quite hear.
I decided to conduct a little self-trepanning experiment. Suffice it to say that it wasn't that successful and I found myself in need of a large cork.
Unfortunately I keep them in the underground garage that we share with the rest of the gated community and I had forgotten the code to open the gates so that I could get in there.
You can operate them from the inside by pressing a button but this is well out of reach from the outside.
So, I came up with a cunning plan.
I crept into the bedroom [luckily the TG had fallen asleep by then], to get the shepherd's crook that I keep by the bed [don't ask, I once had a very headstrong sheep called Jojo and.......... well] and the mirror that I have handy if the TG has a 'Medusa Moment' in the middle of the night.
(I have tried to explain curlers several times, he just won't accept that I need any artificial enhancement. Lo,TG Ed)
I fixed the mirror to the crook, used gaffer tape and a wire coat hanger and crept back down to the gates guarding the garage.
I was just manoeuvering my equipment into position when I spotted Wopra.
She was standing by my new bicycle, a torch taped to her head, holding the new Harry Potter book in one hand
and waving a thin piece of driftwood in the other.
She kept repeating "Deflatusdeflatus" and shaking her head.
By this time my head had stopped leaking so I quietly crept away and put myself to bed.
If this sort of irrational behaviour continues I'll have to bring it up at the next AGM of the Resident's Association.
