Lo, she is a terrible Goddess made me sit on the naughty step for most of yesterday because of my plans to whop Papersurfer Jnr. any which way I can.
I can't say it did me much good as I really can't see anything wrong with putting him in his place playing with him on a slightly competitive basis.
Anyway, the naughty step is a few feet away from Mac but I came up with a cunning plan to wile away the hours.
Just before I was sat down and told not to move [and given one of those glances that is like a shard of glass piercing to your very soul], I secreted a metal tape measure and the binoculars about my person.



When the TG was busy whittling her feminine wiles or popping out for a little adoration by the neighbours, I managed to do a little Googling using the tape measure to press keys and the 'bins' to scan the screen. I had a few false starts while I perfected the method - one site dedicated to 'crooked men and crooked hair styles', which was less than fascinating and one rather dodgy site 'men who were slow cookers' [please don't ask for details but whips, plastic aprons and ketchup were all involved].
Eventually I found the site I was looking for - 'The best way to cook a llama - the delights and pitfalls of the llama kebab'.

Yummy

I was just getting some very useful information when Gertrude strolled by and I thought it wise to turn the computer off - he might do a runner.
Didn't I tell you about my plans for Gertrude? - oh well never mind.
When I was eventually allowed to return to my usual duties I said I had thought everything through very carefully, and yes, the terrible Goddess was right. When I said it though, I was actually thinking of the time when she said, 'Shall we have kebabs tonight?'
[Must remember to Google 'concrete trainers' tomorrow, see yesterday's comments- someone must make them surely.]

(I can see the naughty step will have to become the naughty very dark cupboard without any supper, several days running. And a general increase in very disagreeable chores. Lo,TG Ed)