I had discovered that he had found a box of Maltesers I was saving for a special occasion and had used them to play a game of marbles. I wouldn't have minded that but he had trodden on some of them and had made a horrible mess on the cream carpet. Luckily the terrible Goddess was out, trying on some new robes, so I was able to get it cleared up before she returned.
Anyway, what with that and the fact that Gertrude keeps trying to escape [Have you ever tried rugby tackling a llama? When I used to play rugger, you either went for the neck, or as near the gusset as you dared - llamas have very long necks and two gussets, very confusing.] it's definitely time for him to go.
Penfold very sensibly suggested retiring him to the south of Surfugal so the next problem is transport.
I could continue along the theme of pantomime llama and book two seats on a flight but this would be very expensive. The other alternative is going down by car. If only I had a vehicle with a sunroof.
I've looked into the costs of having one installed - that is also prohibitive. But I have come up with a cunning and cost cutting plan.
I've invested in an industrial strength can opener and I'll make the sunroof myself - brilliant. It shouldn't take long. I can make it just the right size to accommodate Gertrude's neck and when the trip is over I'll be able to glue the roof back together using duct tape.
I'll miss watching the sunset over the marina with my arm round his neck but I won't miss the fact that every time I tried to have a discussion with him, he spat on all my theories and ideas.
