They have been blessed with inheriting my good looks, charm, wit, modesty and brains. This has left me with very little but I'm only too happy to help.
But Tiggz and Penfold have also inherited my legs - or to be more specific, the bit betwixt foot and knee.
If, heaven forfend, we are all gathered together on a balmy day wearing shorts, we resemble a flock of chickens.
Now, whereas a slim ankle and dainty calves look lovely on a goddess, on a bloke they just look silly. For this I am truly sorry.
So, as recompense, I hereby bequeath to Tiggz my top set of dentures and to Penfold my bottom. (Psst. Forgo the bequests and pass them on to a grateful nation, set up a foundation; better yet, set them in some foundations. Lo,TG Ed)
I feel much better now.
