An eruption of "out with the old and in with the new" resulted in a plethora of flat packs.
Surprisingly, they hold no fear for me and knocking up a multitude of life enhancing and terribly sophisticated stuff is not a problem.
It's the packaging, or to be more specific the polystyrene.
Polystyrene in complete sheet form has qualities that I can only describe as womb-like.(??? Lo,TG Ed) It's the bits that fall off that cause trouble; the individual bubbles that appear from nowhere and go everywhere.............and the vacuum cleaner is broken.
So I came up with a cunning plan.
I remembered doing physics at school and the Van de Graff generator. The way this works, simply put for the more simple among you [I know most of you are highly intelligent - 70'steen for example - tee hee] is, you rub some silk against something else and there's a bit of ionization and some static electricity, and stuff is attracted and repelled, and anyway if you rub a balloon down your cardigan it sticks to the walls [NOT the cardigan, you fool].
I decided to turn myself into a Van de Graff generator by stripping down to my silk boxers and wearing a crash helmet. I then went onto the room where all polystyrene granules had congregated, sat on the floor and rubbed my bottom along the wool carpet. (Oh! hideous vision. Lo,TG Ed)
All the bits of polystyrene flew towards me like a blizzard and within minutes I looked like a snowman.
I then walked out of the apartment and down to the beach where the fresh breeze blew all the bits off me.......brilliant!
I did get a few odd looks as I walked back in my undies and the crash helmet but as soon as I explained that the vacuum cleaner was broken the threatened rout subsided.
(He won't be so pleased with himself when I send him out to pick up all those non-biodegradable plastic bubbles. Lo,TG Ed)
