I'm in jail.
I'm doing bird and I deserve it.
I have always been a bad provider for the constant demands of Lo, she is a terrible Goddess so I took a short cut to obtain the fripperies that make her so very happy.
I was in a jewellery shop surrounded by glittering prizes all in locked cabinets.
The assistants were busy comparing notes on their binge drinking antics.
I took the red paper clip that I use for keeping my nostril hair out of my mouth and cunningly twisting it, I picked the lock on the cabinet that contained the diamond earrings that I knew the TG wanted.
I opened the lid and took the earrings. I reshaped the paper clip and put it back in my nose - I didn't want to arouse interest - everything should look normal. I sauntered out, my heart beating like a drum, and went home.
The TG was delighted and luckily didn't ask any awkward questions [almost a first!].
I thought I'd got away with it.
However several days later there was a knock at the door and there stood Mr. Plod.
"I am arresting you for theft - walk this way."
I minced off down to the police station, was charged, taken to court and banged up for the rest of my life.
It wasn't the diamond earrings, it was the red paper clip. I'd stolen it from work. I had tried on various colours to see which went best with my eyes and some nose hairs had stuck to the other paper clips. They were recognised and the boss sought justice and retribution.
"I want the signed oneredpaperclip book given away on fuelmyblog" to read in jail, to teach me a lesson of what life might have been like if I hadn't been so wicked.
[By the way, the earrings look stunning when the TG visits]
Tags: oneredpaperclip fuelmyblog.
