The special power is easy peasy - the ability to set bad people's nostril hairs on fire, thus destroying their ability to detect me as I stealthily approach to kill them. 'Goodies' will be nasally ignited as well but I'll save them using a mini-fire extinguisher.
The question of which actor could portray my good looks, charm, wit and streetwise-ness is a bit tricky;
Sean Connery came to mind but he's getting on a bit. (And getting it on, as I understand it. Lo,TG Ed)
Orlando Bloom hasn't the looks, neither does Mr. Depp. (Don't be too upset Johnny, I still love you. Lo,TG Ed)
Anthony Hopkins has the acting abilities but his voice isn't up to scratch. (If anyone has a recording of Anthony Hopkins reading the telephone directory, I'd like it for Christmas. Lo,TG Ed)
I decided in the end that Uma Thurman would be perfect. With some clever make-up and close personal training from me, I think she could make the grade.
( I'll write to Uma to encourage her, if it'll keep him occupied. Lo,TG Ed).
