I asked the terrible Goddess to help me select some new knickers from Marks and Sparks and she very graciously agreed. We jumped in the car and then I jumped out again - I had forgotten the keys.
After that little hiccough, we got to Marks very efficiently [I only took one wrong turning] , went straight to the men's knicker counter and bought some pants [5 for £5 - buy another pack for 1/2 price - brilliant](As previously discussed, pants UK = underwear US. Lo,TG Ed)
As we were leaving I made my fatal mistake.
"Why don't you have a little look round? I'll do some people watching by the entrance." [I find people watching quite entrancing and by the entrance seemed to be appropriate].
I lost track of time as I was musing.
"Nice legs, shame about the wedgies"
"Why on earth did she have that tattooed?"
"Please do something with your children ............. as far away as possible"
"You really shouldn't have shaved your head young man - it draws attention to your face"
"Are people going to think I'm a pervert, staring at them and giggling?"
"Are my flies done up, it seems a bit draughty in here?"
Eventually the TG emerged .............. carrying BAGS!!!
The loot included: a new dress, a new shiny shirt thing, 2 jackets, a pair of ruby earrings [btw, thank you earring manufacturers for making clip-ons as rare as hen's teeth, it's saved me a fortune over the years - the TG won't have her ears pierced - one of my very few blessings], a pair of shoes, a sofa and a frozen turkey [going cheap, which I thought was odd as they usually gobble].
Why, oh why will I never learn?
When we got home I had to re-arranged the furniture, empty the freezer and worst of all walk the minefield that is 'being asked for my opinion' at a fashion show - nightmare.
[ For my international reader, Marks and Spencer's is a chain of shops that sells most everything - but you probably realised that]
(He obviously lives over the rainbow..... RUBY EARRINGS? That'll be to match the ruby slippers then. Lo,TG Ed)
