So, I came up with a cunning plan.
I donned my shell suit and white trainers and shouted as I left, “Just getting in some training for the marathon – I’ll be about 5 hours.”
When I returned she asked me how I’d got on.
“Surprisingly well actually” I replied mopping my brow [I’d splashed Evian on].
“Cock!!”
“Pardon?”
“You’ve been down to the Cock haven’t you?”
“I ……. ummmmm …….. well ….. mmmm ….. how did you know?”
“I put one of these into your truss before you left and I’ve been keeping an eye on you on Google Maps.
I also happen to know you went up to the top floor in the East apartment block.”
She waited for an answer.
I didn’t have one. How could I explain that I was arranging a llama sitter so I could take her out for a meal on her birthday?
“Pathetic.” She turned on her heels and retired to the boudoir.
I found and pulled out the gizmo in my truss. B****y internet.
Mind you it would be jolly handy for keeping a eye on your luggage if you ever travelled from T5, or checking on where Penfold gets to when he borrows the car, or if they manage to make it even smaller, never having to lose a golf ball again!! Brilliant.
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BREAKING NEWS [breaking my heart more like it!] - FANZINE ISSUE 5 NOW AVAILABLE
