I’ve noticed that the majority of my visible readers are goddesses. I know that lurking in the background is a plethora of peabrains, so in the spirit of helpfulness I’ve decided to share with them my deep understanding of goddesses.
1. Goddesses are always right and always logical.
2. Their moods are like mill ponds – with the exception of about 7 days every month with the odd hiccough here and there. This is why the shed was invented.
3. Bums never ever look big in anything, except when wearing a bustle in which case their arses are enormous.
4. They should be adored at all times, even when they’ve just woken up and have got bits in the corners of their eyes.
5. Their opinions are important and occasionally relevant.
6. Multi-tasking is good – it doesn’t mean doing a lot of things badly.
7. Do not use your goddess as an editor - I am now writing this with broken fingers.
8. Ow
I now deserve a really big medal for bravery or, at the very least, a gold star.
