The first thing I do every morning, having looked at the second hand on the clock to see if it’s moving, thus assuring me I’m still alive, is rush to the bathroom with a tape measure.



It is a well known fact that your ears get bigger and bigger the older you get and I just need to know if they are keeping up.

So far so good – although I did notice a slight acceleration of lobe growth this morning - is this anything to worry about? (Not more worrying than anything else about you. Lo,TG Ed)

I’ll keep you updated of course – if you’re still awake.