Just as I stepped out of the shower this morning I had an unfortunate accident with Lo, she is a terrible Goddess’s talcum powder which I was applying for anti-chafing purposes. The lid fell off with a clatter and the whole shower room filled up in a haze of the stuff.



I glanced in the mirror and saw that the TG had opened the door and was standing there with an expression on her face that would have done Sister Dyspepsia of the Church of the Perpetual PMT proud.

She glided silently away and returned with the vacuum cleaner.

“I’ll just finish dressing ………” I stammered.

The look returned.

“……….later”.

Actually, it’s quite refreshing having a thorough vacuum whilst naked ……. I might make it a habit.

(I can't help feeling there were some missed opportunities there....... Sometimes I am just too benevolent. Lo, TG Ed)

Since Olga left I’ve only had this little chap to help me on a regular basis at the Cliff Top Residence. Smiley isn’t he?



Actually he’s beginning to get on my nerves. If I hit my thumb with a hammer, he smiles. If he gets his knickers in a twist round his hard wiring, he smiles. If his proboscis gets bunged up and I have to perform a delicate operation where I get covered in rubble and dust ………. he smiles.

In fact, I’ve decided he sucks.

At last the new windows have been fitted at the Cliff Top Residence. This is a view I haven’t seen for 2 months. The window openings have been boarded up for security reasons.



………. and then I saw this foxy chap.



I can’t see much either ……. here’s a digital zoom piccy of awful quality ….



So the windows are working very well ……… excellent.

This arrived by email the other day …………..
NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm.
This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!
(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing.
(Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)
(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man.
That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').
(8) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F**K YOU!
(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.

I’m going to have to study this for a very long time ……..

In days of old a glimpse of stocking was looked on as some thing shocking …..



…….. now heaven knows, anything goes …….



Is this a problem? ……. I’ll try and get to the bottom of it ……..

Whilst reconstructing the cliff top residence the other day I started getting worried that I was suffering from a galloping cataract in my left eye. I continued doing ‘stuff’ for hours, rather bravely I thought.
I discovered when I had finished for the day that actually I had dropped some plaster on my glasses – phew.



[This photograph is a reconstruction, using flour and water, of what happened during the reconstruction – please don’t try this at home for health and safety reasons – leave it to the professionals.]